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mEinside

1:52 PM |

life is like a piece of paper..we the one who responsible on how it's going to be..either we decide to draw something creative or juz wrote something that meaningless..the main point is..we the one who decide what we want in our life..

recently i'm facing a big problem in my life..between friends n love..i only care about what my friends going to say..how they going to feel..whether they can accept me or they going to hate me, and for that, i've abandon he's feeling, i let him worried about me all the time..for past this few weeks i've been so emo..like everything aren't rite..i act like i'm losing my mind..i only cared about my friends..and they juz didnt care about me..even when we were hanging out together..they juz ignoring me like i was'nt there..for the whole day i was treated like a fool..they walked together, ate together, they do everything together and i'm all alone by myself..thnx to him..he's the reason why i juz faced the situation silently..
things happened for a reason, and what happened make me realize that even if the whole world look down on me, he will be the only one who raise me back, he's the one who willing to be there for me.
i stood and start think of all the decision i've made in my life. some was a mistake and others were lesson to be learn..and this time, the decision i've made to be with him is the greatest ever, even i've to give up on someone who really love n care about me, even i realize i'll maybe regrets about it on the future, but knowing him is something that i will never regret in my life..
he's so different from the others that i've meet before. way too different, he's not like the others who only thought that they can have my heart by giving me things, treat me on expensive food, took me to great places. for short term i maybe fall for that, but for long term i'll get bored by those. but being with him, i've experiece a simple and nice relationship. he treated me so nicely, gently, he gave me the love that i could only imagine it on my dreams..
i dont need anything else but him. now i dont wanna think of what people might say bout us, whether our friends will accept this relation, what they going to say..what do i care now is how much i love him..how lucky i am to have him..and how much he loves me back..now i juz wanna make him happy..i wanna make this relation last forever..

signing off...
♥XOXO♥

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Posted by mezutsu

mehurtingmyself

11:34 PM |

i'm so piss off..

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Posted by mezutsu

mehurts

10:23 PM |

geramnya...kenapa la aku ni baik sgt? selalu je kena buli ngan org? npe la manusia nie lgsg xreti nk jga ati ku? ape la salah ku kt diorg? besar sgt ke salah ku kt diorg smpai diorg lyn ku cmni skli? ku btul2 xphm gile! kalo ku ikut ckp diorg, ku yg xhappy..tp ble ku xikut ckp diorg pon ku jg yg xhappy by the end..pe lg ku nk bt? pe yg korg nk kt ku?? ku pelik btul la kalo manusia jnis xreti nk bsyukur ngan ape yg diorg ade..korg cube la phm ku nie..npe asyik ku je nk phm kt korg? salah ke korg try lak phm ku? rugi ke? salah ke?? berdosa bsr ke kalo korg kurangkn skit ego korg tu juz tuk phm dri ku nie?? ku pon manusia gak..ade ati, ade prasaan..ade akal nk pk ape yg korg bt kt ku..ku bkn tunggul k..AKU MANUSIA MCM KORG GAK! tolong la phm ati ku nie..salah ke wei??

ku pon nk gak bhagia cm korg..npe tu pon ssh sgt korg nk phm?? bkn korg je yg tau nk happy..ku btul2 dah bosan ngan perangai korg..ku dah fed up! ku dah give up ngan korg! lantak korg la nk bt ape pon..nk larikn dri dr ku ke, nk pulaukn ku ke, nk tgglkn ku sorg2 pon ku xkesah la..ku still leh survive k..ku bkn bdk2 lg..ko xnk lyn ku, nk xendah kn ku pon ku still leh idop..ku btul2 bosan ngan permainan korg nie..mengalahkn persatuan ibu2 tunggal je..persahabatan konon?? korg pk la sndr..persahabatan atas dasar ape yg korg pertahankn nie? korg masing2 pon xjujur ngan same sndr..sndr pon xphm ati kwn2 sndr..stakat knal baik bruk je..korg tau ke ape yg 'sahabat' korg nk sbnrnye? korg phm ke? korg tau ke ape yg sahabat korg bt? korg tau ke ape pandangan sahabt korg tu kt dri korg? sibuk nk jga ati sahabat..konon dah kwn lbh 8taun?? korg tau ke niat sahabat2 korg tu sndr?? xyah nk ajar ku erti sahabat kalo korg sndr xphm ape sahabat yg sbnrnye..ku da byk 'bersahabat' ngan org..tp last2 ku jg yg kena tggl..sblum korg ku da phm spe yg leh bt kwn spe yg leh bt sahabt..setakat knal family, lepak same, enjoy same..blum ckup sahabat lg tu..

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mesakitati..

11:05 PM |

most thing happened with a reason..but some happened without a reason..me, i'm juz an ordinary gul who always made a wrong choices..but those makes me a better person indeed..maybe those mistakes happened for some reason..people always change..i've changed..but i do hate changing..it always confuzz me about who i really am..

today i've changed again..but for the worst..i juz dunno what i'm doing now..do i need it in my life or do they came with a reason?? or am i juz did another mistake in my life? sometime i juz stood and think what do i really need in my life..sometimes i juz feel lost in my loneliness but then when i opened my heart and looked around..i have everything i need..but why do i still feel like i'm losing it?? i've been in a serious relationship, but i let him go..i've found a man who willing to die for me, do everything for me, even change himself for me, but i let him down..i've meet a man who i willing to do everything for him, sacrifice for him, do whatever he says..but still, i let him passing me by...now..i've meet a man who i dont think i really need him, i dont want to be seriously in love with him, and most important is either me or him arent willing to sacrifice for each other..but he juz make me happy without doing anything, he always be there for me no matter how busy he is..and we are happy juz by being together without any hesitation..but i hope either me or him wont let each other down...cuz i really happy n happy n happy with him..

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